Outer Child Wvrk

When I was working on my Master’s Thesis in 2015, I very much still believed in Creationism, but I had my doubts already. What gave the final push is my confrontation with the scientific method.

I couldn’t help but realize how much time scientists spend on finding out the truth about our reality.
Perhaps there’s something to this Theory of Evolution?

So I did the impossible. I bought a few books about the Theory of Evolution, the hypothesis of The Enemy of God, and started reading.
Truth shall stay the truth, even in the midst of lies, that was my thinking.

As I dived deeper into it, I noticed that there’s much that I wasn’t aware of. I learned more, day by day, and I tried speaking with my father about this Theory of Evolution, and how it’s not a “fairly tale for grown-ups“, a claim Biblical Creationists often make.

Fast forward one year.
A year’s worth of arguing and talking went by. I caused a lot of upheaval in the family, and my father would dismiss any evidence I’d present him about evolution.

At my birthday in 2016, at 00:30, close to my birth-time.
My parents were having fights for the last 2 weeks, but today was different.
I had a hunch that my father would storm into my room and have a fight with me. I put my phone on record, for sake of review later on.

So he did, and it later on resulted in the track you can hear.

English Translation

My Father
I want you to move out, Adam
Because I feel that you are um…
That you’re the Son of the Devil.
That’s how I feel.
That you’re the Son of Evil.

I truly don’t give a shit if you believe in the Devil or not, alright?

Adam
But I do care

I really don’t care about that any more.

I truly do care about that

But you don’t… Because you don’t believe in the Devil!

How can that be if I do care?

I however, I do believe in him.

I think that’s very brash of you.

I wan you to move out, because I’ve noticed that you are …

An occultist?

Yes!


Just like Violetta?

Yes yes! Exactly like Violetta!

Like a person that’s meddling with evil spirits.
You’re having evil spirits inside of you, and these spirits are flying around the house, you know?

You don’t go swimming,
You are visiting whores, you know?

(Father forcibly closes door)
(Adam opens door, to confront his father)

What did you tell me?

Look, dad.
You can scream and shout at mom as much as you like, and she’s gonna scream and shout back at you.

With me however, you are never gonna win based on logic, nor in a reasonable discussion.

Haha, that’s because you’re stupid.

Because, I love you …

Because you’re stupid

Because I love you …

You… you don’t love me!

Because I love you…

You don’t love me…

I will keep on having a conversation with you till the end

Because Love only comes from God

(Chorus)

My Father
People like you
Rape little children
Rape pregnant women
Then they rip them apart
Steal everything from them
And are the cause for massive amounts of people, dying because of hunger.

Adam
Daddy, maybe you’re the one who’s influenced by Satan?

Because of stupid…. stupid egotistical people like you …

I really don’t have thoughts like that

…. which believe in the Sect of Evolutionary Darwinism

I don’t have thoughts like that

Because of people like you!

I seriously don’t even have thoughts like that

At home… The best evidence for it is that…

This is disgusting. I think it’s evidence that you’re having these thoughts in your mind!

The best evidence is that in fact you are the egoist at home, like any stranger. You only come here to say Hi and Goodbye.

Ah, but why?! Because when I enter this home and open my eyes, I can only dare to say ‘Good Morning’. Might I deviate just a tiny bit I hear your snapping at me about evolution, and then I …

(Adam snaps)

I won’t be giving in, alright?!
If there’s fucking evidence, I won’t be giving in!!

I will not be like you:
“Ah, I have my Bible, and it tells me what I need to believe!”

I have EVIDENCE!
(slams on nearby wall)
So when you…

(Chorus)

Fucking Whore of a Mother, you don’t have a single shred of evidence for Evolution!

I gave you evidence!

That’s no evidence!

Then why… fucking… don’t you disprove it?

I already disproved it for you!

Yes? How so? Where is it? Where is your Noble Price?

Fucking Whore of a Mother…

I can’t believe what I’m hearing!

How many eyes does a mouse have?

One year, and 3 months, I’m counting!!!

Don’t shout at me!

I can’t believe what I’m hearing!

Don’t shout at me, you fucking idiot!

I gave you evidence!

You fucking idiot!

I gave you evidence!

Look at me!

I’m looking at you!

Listen to me…

I’m listening

How many eyes does a mouse have?

Two

How many eyes do I have?

Two

So now… Do I come from mice?

That’s not what Evolution claims!

See how easily I’ve disproven what you told me!

That’s not what Evolution claims!

My Mom
Keep quiet guys!!!

Do you have any more of that evidence?!

KEEP QUIET!!!

You fucking idiot?!

Otherwise Mauro (neighbour) is gonna call the police.

§ End of Track §

The Moral of the Story

If you’re a scientist, a younger person, or a non-believer, you might stand on my side, and have empathy with me.

“What a f!@#$ing dense !@#$”, correct?
or perhaps
“Does your father have a mental illness?”

Wrong

For let me remind you, if you’re without sin, you may throw the first rock at my father.

Notice how we’re acting out like two misunderstood children, fighting for our own sense of security, completely neglecting the other.

My error is large, perhaps larger than my father’s, in trying to show him how wrong he was.

To give up one’s ego, one should have an ego worth giving up!
Yet there I was, showing off with my share of Truth, and telling my father exactly how it is, while my father kept to his comfortable narratives in his mind.

I’m noticing this a lot throughout society, if I’dbe very real with you.

Be it a fight about policies, climate change, COVID-19 regulation, Social Media Ethics, moral issues, equality rights, inequality protests, racism claims, feminism, white male toxicity, short term profit, youth shaming, karen blaming, …

Or perhaps more personal
You trying to do something creative in your life, because you chose to do it, but you won’t, because “you don’t have time”.

Judgment!
Judgment against the self
Judgment against the other
Judgments against existence herself

How can you be so blind as not to see the beam in your own eye, yet cast out the mote in thy fellow human?
How can you be so gullible, as to compare yourself to another?

Who shall dare to sit at a round table, together with 4 other individuals, with a whiteboard next to you, and list point by point what you actually think is your claim, and then, point by point, either accept or reject a notion?

Almost none.
Literally.
Almost none.

And why is that?

Because our physical reality is not perfect, yet we are swayed by ideals.
The ideals of a perfect state.
The ideals of perfect parents.
The ideals of a perfect mate.
The ideals of perfect creative work.
The ideals of a perfect career.
The ideals of perfect communities.
The ideals of a perfect economy.

Seeing through your Low-Resolution thinking, and looking at your own projections, reactions, problems, and judgments.

That’s the Outer Child Work.

We’re all children.
We will always be children.
The child just goes through the process of physical maturation.
But the childlike essence stays.

If this childlike essence has been squeezed out of you, then perhaps for you too, there’s much deep diving to do.

Here’s the piece of evidence that I wrote for my father, which he refuted by asking me how many eyes a mouse has:

In 2020, about 4.5 years, he doesn’t want to see or know me.
He’s afraid that I’m going to be standing on the other side of the divide on Judgement Day, so he prefers to dissociate me from the family.

He’s particularly touched by the following painting.

Hans Memling – The Last Judgement

Since then, my core passion was to understand how these systems of religion work, and if I can hack them, to circumvent the immune system built into any system of values.

I keep making the joke that I’m happy that my father ain’t a Muslim fundamentalist.

Brute force (or Truth) doesn’t work, that’s clear.

To the reader or listener, please tell me, who took my father away from me?
Who shalt be held responsible?

The Catholic Church, full of undeniable dogma and lies bend out of line?
The Polish Culture, full of hypocrisy and pureblood faith?
The Communistic Mindset, for protecting the Holy State?
The Capitalist Empire whose main interests are captical and increase in productivity?
My father, as an individual, for not daring to jump himself into the dark unknown?
My grandparents, for not knowing better anyway?
Me, for honestly assessing the evidence and literature, and trying to save my father?

Don’t make the mistake that your nation, your community, your family, or you yourself are free from bias and low-level resolution thinking.

We’re in this shit together.